What Holly Rowe said about her cancer journey — and BYU and Utah football

It’s been nearly 10 years since ESPN sideline reporter Holly Rowe was diagnosed with cancer.
Rowe opened up about her journey with desmoplastic melanoma while on this week’s episode of “The Audible” podcast. The University of Utah alum found out she had four new inoperable tumors just 11 days before having to cover Texas’ upset win over Notre Dame on the gridiron in 2016.
“Eleven days before that game, I was having a lung biopsy, where they stick a needle about two feet long into your lungs while you’re awake so that you can obey breathing cues. I mean, that’s about as real as it gets, and you find out you have inoperable tumors in your lung,” she said. “It’s a death sentence because your lungs are the thing you need to breathe and that was a death sentence for me.”
A discussion with her doctor after the biopsy led her to reevaluate how she was living her life.
“I remember the doctor telling me, ‘You need to think about how you’re spending your time,’ and I thought that was this really gentle way of saying, ‘We’re not sure how much of it you get left.’ I remember going to that game. I worked that game. I did not tell my bosses at ESPN that I had new tumors in my lung, this new deadly diagnosis. I just went, showed up and worked that football game because that’s really where I’m happy.”
She became more intentional about doing things that brought her joy and started a joy journal.
“I am at my very happiest on the college football sidelines, in college football, at a WNBA game. So I was very intentional about I’m going to keep working these things that bring me joy because if I’m dying, I’m going out at the places that make me happy. I would start making a list of ‘Today, I was at this game and this happened. Today I saw my son. We rode bikes through Central Park,’” she said.
Rowe started living her best life while dying.
“You go through your everyday life with your to-do list and what’s next, and we’re just on to the next thing. And when you’re going through cancer, you’re just trying to get through that day. I’ve just got to figure out a way to feel well and be able to operate today, and so, why I say I felt like I was living better while I was dying is I only worried about that day. What am I doing today that’s fun? What am I doing today that’s silly, that I can laugh my guts out, that will bring me joy in my workplace,” she said.
Rowe is not yet in remission, but the tumors are gone, she said. She had her last six-month scan in August and will wait a year until her next scan. She considers herself lucky.
“I’m literally a miracle. I had a 12% chance that this drug would work for me, and it has. It’s immunotherapy. But I’ve kept living my joyful moments, and that’s what I want people to do a little bit better. Instead of the stress of what do I have to do today, and do more of what brings me joy today. Like, that’s where I want people to live.”
Rowe was also asked about Utah and BYU football with both teams being 4-0. Hosts Stewart Mandel and Bruce Feldman asked if the Nov. 5 game between the two will be as big of a game as they think it will be.
“I think so. I think Utah’s legit. We saw what they did to what I think is a pretty good offensive team in Oklahoma State, what they did in Stillwater this weekend without their starting quarterback Cam Rising,” she said.
Rowe then praised defensive lineman Junior Tafuna and his role on the team.
“He is going to be a first- or second-round draft pick. I’ll be shocked if he’s not a really high draft pick. He is a game wrecker, a game changer, and if you don’t know the name Junior Tafuna, you need to because he’s one of the best in college football right now and that defense feeds off of him. I do think Utah’s legit.”
She also noted tight end Brant Kuithe and Micah Bernard and Utah’s all-around talent.
“I think Kyle (Whittingham) will tell you this is one of the best team’s he’s put (together),” she said. “I think top to bottom they’re really good.”
Rowe began her thoughts on BYU by sharing her relationship with head coach Kalani Sitake, who she used to cover early in her career while he was playing at BYU.
“I’m really happy for Kalani Sitake,” she said. “He was a heck of a fullback. He was a big, physical, tough-nose fullback on that BYU team.”
Rowe isn’t surprised that Sitake is a head coach. She shared a conversation she had with Sitake while she was working a Utah game and he was the Utes’ defensive coordinator.
”I remember pulling him aside and saying, ‘You’re going to be a head coach. You’re special, and I see it right now,’ and so I’m really proud of him. I’m a huge Kalani Sitake fan, and I think he’s molded this BYU team like him: tough and physical,” she said.
She then highlighted the Polynesian culture on both the BYU and Utah football teams and said she wants to be the one to do an ESPN “30 for 30″ documentary on the history of Polynesian college football players.
“BYU thrives on their Polynesian culture. They have had a longstanding tradition going way back to LaVell Edwards when Norm Chow was there and now Utah has that same Polynesian culture going. Their team is one-third Polynesian. I just want people to really tune in and dial in. I constantly try to share what the Polynesian Hall of Fame is tweeting and sharing and their watchlists because that’s kind of the DNA and makeup of these BYU and Utah teams that make them special and have for a really long time,” she said.